Someone found the link to my blog by surfing up "Stupid Vol Fans."
How rude.
Oh yeah, and I finally got some comments on my blog - and it was spam.
sigh...
Wednesday, October 18, 2006
Tuesday, October 17, 2006
For only One Thousand Dollars....

We were cruising through the pics of pets and came across this sphinx for sale for a thousand bucks (not the same as the photo to the left - but just as hideously ugly).
Why would someone pay $1000 for a wrinklied, raw, rat-like looking creature that looks like this? It reminds me of my dog when I first found her on the side of the road - all mangy, pink and full of scabs. I paid $700 to make her not look like that anymore...
It kinda makes me uncomfortable, like that feeling you get when looking at your friend's newborn baby - who isn't very cute, but you have to pretend it is. It makes me want to sew a tiny little fur coat so that it won't be embarrased in front of his animal friends. He actually looks like Mr. Furley from Three's Company. Wait, he's starting to grow on me.... Ew. Just goes to show you money really doesn't buy good taste.
People never cease to amaze me.
Tuesday, October 10, 2006
Its My Lucky Day...

Look...Its real! I swear I didn't glue a tiny little leaf in the center.
Sunday, October 01, 2006
Lucky in Love Sounds Good to Me
So I am back from a weekend camping trip with some friends. I had a really great time (in spite of the fact that I have chiggers, I branded my neck with a marshmallow poker, and it poured down rain on us all last night=). We went for a 12 mile hike (or was it 15?) and ate lots and lots of food that is bad for you. I discovered the joys of grey meat and the drawbacks from eating marshmallows for every meal (grasshoppers do add protein, but its still not advisable). Oh yeah, and I'm a total cheater at trivial pursuit. I also met a suicidal stick bug. Excellent fun. It’s good to spend time with friends.
When I came home tonight, I got some interesting information from my Daily AOL horoscope, too:
It might be easy for you to make more money these days, but this isn't about any sort of get-rich-quick scheme. It's just that people in power are going to be more inclined to favor you over others. Love is not full of surprises now. Rather, you get what you deserve and you can count on what you receive as being the real thing.
What an amazing horoscope! First, the whole lucky at work thing sounds great. Who doesn’t want to be make more money and be favored. But the best part of this horoscope is what it says about love. I have had a bad go at love lately. Most recently – I have had my heart broken. Not so much broken as crushed – the kind of hurt that leaves you feeling alone when you are in a room full of people. I fell for this guy who had become my friend– only to later come to terms with the fact that he never really liked me and that he was in love with someone else. I wasn't even mad – given the circumstances. All I could do is say goodbye and wish him the best because I want him to be happy even if it means that I have to walk away forever. If that’s not love, then I don’t know what is. Talk about tragic Lifetime television for women (bleh). Its easier when you can just punch them in the stomach, call them a son of a bitch and walk away with a smile. Love can really complicate things sometimes.
Back to the horoscope, though, cuz it sounds like my luck is going to change =) I especially like the part about how it says I deserve it. Perhaps Mr. Fantastic is right around the corner. Maybe its cute parking lot guy... That would be excellent… Or maybe horoscopes are full of crap. Either way, it never hurts to keep an open mind.
Hope everyone has a great week!
When I came home tonight, I got some interesting information from my Daily AOL horoscope, too:
It might be easy for you to make more money these days, but this isn't about any sort of get-rich-quick scheme. It's just that people in power are going to be more inclined to favor you over others. Love is not full of surprises now. Rather, you get what you deserve and you can count on what you receive as being the real thing.
What an amazing horoscope! First, the whole lucky at work thing sounds great. Who doesn’t want to be make more money and be favored. But the best part of this horoscope is what it says about love. I have had a bad go at love lately. Most recently – I have had my heart broken. Not so much broken as crushed – the kind of hurt that leaves you feeling alone when you are in a room full of people. I fell for this guy who had become my friend– only to later come to terms with the fact that he never really liked me and that he was in love with someone else. I wasn't even mad – given the circumstances. All I could do is say goodbye and wish him the best because I want him to be happy even if it means that I have to walk away forever. If that’s not love, then I don’t know what is. Talk about tragic Lifetime television for women (bleh). Its easier when you can just punch them in the stomach, call them a son of a bitch and walk away with a smile. Love can really complicate things sometimes.
Back to the horoscope, though, cuz it sounds like my luck is going to change =) I especially like the part about how it says I deserve it. Perhaps Mr. Fantastic is right around the corner. Maybe its cute parking lot guy... That would be excellent… Or maybe horoscopes are full of crap. Either way, it never hurts to keep an open mind.
Hope everyone has a great week!
Wednesday, September 27, 2006
I'm turning into a Man....HELP!!
I come home, crack open an ice cold beer, flop down on the couch with my pants unbuttoned, turn on the news, occasionally snore as I zone in and out of consciousness, yell into the kitchen "bitch where's my dinner!"
Okay, so maybe its not that bad. Its more of the pathetic bachelor man-type. I've previously mentioned that my refrigerator once stored only things like earthworms (for fishing, not eating, in case you were wondering), pickles and beer. Well, this type of thing is what I'm talking about. Taking current inventory of the fridge I have: block of old parmesan cheese, 4 jars of pickles, rotten milk, orange juice, empty jar of applesauce, tupperware container of what I believe to be baked beans from several months ago (ewh), and .... beer.
My carpet has 4 layers of dog fur. My laundry has stacked up for 3 weeks (had to do some wash this weekend in order to have adequate amounts of underwear for week). Piles of newspapers on the floor. Collection of shoes by the door (the variety and number of these certainly seperates me from my male counterparts, but its still getting out of control). Junk mail piled high on the dining room table. Pot of old broccoli, random wrappers and coffee cups on the counter. Hairball in the spare bedroom. Piles and piles of unread and boring books scattered across bedroom floor. Little piles of dead spider carcasses by the back door. Dog toys EVERYWHERE.
Okay so perhaps I exaggerate (or maybe not so much) - but I think its time for an intervention. I have the home of a 24 year old college fratboy graduate. Somebody please come shoot me. Or atleast go get that nasty hairball out of the spare bedroom. bleh.
Okay, so maybe its not that bad. Its more of the pathetic bachelor man-type. I've previously mentioned that my refrigerator once stored only things like earthworms (for fishing, not eating, in case you were wondering), pickles and beer. Well, this type of thing is what I'm talking about. Taking current inventory of the fridge I have: block of old parmesan cheese, 4 jars of pickles, rotten milk, orange juice, empty jar of applesauce, tupperware container of what I believe to be baked beans from several months ago (ewh), and .... beer.
My carpet has 4 layers of dog fur. My laundry has stacked up for 3 weeks (had to do some wash this weekend in order to have adequate amounts of underwear for week). Piles of newspapers on the floor. Collection of shoes by the door (the variety and number of these certainly seperates me from my male counterparts, but its still getting out of control). Junk mail piled high on the dining room table. Pot of old broccoli, random wrappers and coffee cups on the counter. Hairball in the spare bedroom. Piles and piles of unread and boring books scattered across bedroom floor. Little piles of dead spider carcasses by the back door. Dog toys EVERYWHERE.
Okay so perhaps I exaggerate (or maybe not so much) - but I think its time for an intervention. I have the home of a 24 year old college fratboy graduate. Somebody please come shoot me. Or atleast go get that nasty hairball out of the spare bedroom. bleh.
Sunday, September 17, 2006
I Have a Vacation Hangover
You know how when you travel sometimes (especially when its in a different time zone) and you come back you feel like a zhombie, you wake in the middle of the night and don't know where you are, you sleep for 12 straight hours, you wake up feeling groggy, you're sitting in your pajamas drinking coffee while staring at your computer when you're supposed to be somewhere in 20 minutes?
Thats me today. I've also somehow managed to forget all the wonderful stories I was going to share with everyone. I'm hoping this memory lapse will go away with the application of some much needed caffeine and a little bit of time to settle back into the real world.
Until then...happy Sunday!
Thats me today. I've also somehow managed to forget all the wonderful stories I was going to share with everyone. I'm hoping this memory lapse will go away with the application of some much needed caffeine and a little bit of time to settle back into the real world.
Until then...happy Sunday!
Saturday, August 26, 2006
Dial #0 if You are Just Stupid
So I was a little bored this morning and was playing with my cell phone because I had nothing better to do. I noticed, for the first time, a tiny little image just above the pound sign in the bottom right corner of the phone. It’s a little tiny lock. I think….cool….I can lock my phone. I’d been wondering about this (because I had let my niece play with my phone a few weeks ago and I was looking for a way to keep her from dialing 911…or an ex or something).
So I got so excited, I pressed the button – held it down – and locked up my cell phone. Sweet. It works. Know what else? It requires a pass code to unlock it. Ain’t security great? Wait. What? Pass code? I don’t have a pass code? I dial up every single pass code I’ve every used in my life – from my ATM code, my voicemail code, my social security number, my birth year, everything. Nothing. I find my owner’s manual (which is a miracle I still have) and find that the default code is 0000. Whheeeww. Crisis averted. I punch in the default and I get…..nothing. Still locked. Dammit.
I can fix this, I think. I can go online. I surf up the Verizon.com website and type in [what I think is] my user name and password and get nothing. I try again. Nothing. I’ve got 25 different user names and 10 passwords for 40 online accounts. None of them work. I’m getting ready to lock up my Verizon account. So I click the forget password? Link. It sends it to my email. Great. But wait, no email. Oh yeah, I use my work email. Now I have to go to work and get my damn password to log on to my account so I can try and find out why they let stupid people have cell phones. Dammit.
Okay. Think… What’s that weirdo think next to the computer that allows me to slowly connect to this damn internet….oh yeah….a real phone. An ancient artifact that’s become something like an 8-track in our technologically advanced society. They probably have one at the Smithsonian – right next to the hot-rollers and the Walkman. Fortunately for me, the non-technological mutant, I still have one. I not only have one but depend on it for my connections. For once having something old fashioned has saved me from complete embarrassment (which it would have been for me to drive down to the Verizon store and tell the cute guy behind the counter that I had somehow managed to lock myself out of my phone. So I look for a number. Need help, it asks? Just dial *89 on your cell phone. That helps. Dammit
So after 15 minutes of searching I find a 1800 number. When I call it, I'm given a series of choices…press 1 for billing, 2 for technical service, 3 for blueberries and other fruit and snacks, 4 for blah blah nano blah something pods, 5 for yadayada vcast something music players, blah blah....I press 2. It’s a technical problem. Then I'm connected to another list of choices. I don’t understand any of them. I don’t have any of these problems. Where is the default choice for “all other technical issues a.k.a. stupid people”. I randomly pick a number. I wait another 15 minutes for a kind woman who was gracious enough to tell me that, oh yeah, it’s just the last four numbers of my phone number. Sure. Yeah. Thanks. Dammit.
Moral to the story? #26 on my list ….Catch up with Technology before I lock myself out of society.
So I got so excited, I pressed the button – held it down – and locked up my cell phone. Sweet. It works. Know what else? It requires a pass code to unlock it. Ain’t security great? Wait. What? Pass code? I don’t have a pass code? I dial up every single pass code I’ve every used in my life – from my ATM code, my voicemail code, my social security number, my birth year, everything. Nothing. I find my owner’s manual (which is a miracle I still have) and find that the default code is 0000. Whheeeww. Crisis averted. I punch in the default and I get…..nothing. Still locked. Dammit.
I can fix this, I think. I can go online. I surf up the Verizon.com website and type in [what I think is] my user name and password and get nothing. I try again. Nothing. I’ve got 25 different user names and 10 passwords for 40 online accounts. None of them work. I’m getting ready to lock up my Verizon account. So I click the forget password? Link. It sends it to my email. Great. But wait, no email. Oh yeah, I use my work email. Now I have to go to work and get my damn password to log on to my account so I can try and find out why they let stupid people have cell phones. Dammit.
Okay. Think… What’s that weirdo think next to the computer that allows me to slowly connect to this damn internet….oh yeah….a real phone. An ancient artifact that’s become something like an 8-track in our technologically advanced society. They probably have one at the Smithsonian – right next to the hot-rollers and the Walkman. Fortunately for me, the non-technological mutant, I still have one. I not only have one but depend on it for my connections. For once having something old fashioned has saved me from complete embarrassment (which it would have been for me to drive down to the Verizon store and tell the cute guy behind the counter that I had somehow managed to lock myself out of my phone. So I look for a number. Need help, it asks? Just dial *89 on your cell phone. That helps. Dammit
So after 15 minutes of searching I find a 1800 number. When I call it, I'm given a series of choices…press 1 for billing, 2 for technical service, 3 for blueberries and other fruit and snacks, 4 for blah blah nano blah something pods, 5 for yadayada vcast something music players, blah blah....I press 2. It’s a technical problem. Then I'm connected to another list of choices. I don’t understand any of them. I don’t have any of these problems. Where is the default choice for “all other technical issues a.k.a. stupid people”. I randomly pick a number. I wait another 15 minutes for a kind woman who was gracious enough to tell me that, oh yeah, it’s just the last four numbers of my phone number. Sure. Yeah. Thanks. Dammit.
Moral to the story? #26 on my list ….Catch up with Technology before I lock myself out of society.
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