RockGirl

Hitting the Road (Me and the Crazy GPS Lady)

2010-09-16T08:20:00.001-05:00

Sad to say today is a big driving day. I'm leaving New England and driving to Maryland. I have about a 9-10 hour drive to make today (biggest driving day so far) and I can't seem to leave this lovely Motel 6 room and motivate myself to head toward home!

I have a nice Book on CD to finish--i found that I could only listen to it when i was on the interestate. When driving on the backroads I seemed to miss large chunks of the plot and kept having to go back and hear it again. So today is the day. The only interstate driving-only day I have had.

I have been getting along OK with the gps. She and I had our moments in the beginning and it was rather touch and go. We just couldn't seem to ever be on the same page and I guess she didn't grasp the fact that I was, in fact, in control. Once we got to New York I thought we were almost to the point where she was nearly reading my mind - but, alas, I found this to only be temporary. Now I think she is just being bossy - I'm like a teenage girl and her mother - always trying to find some new way to get somewhere even when the mom clearly states she thinks the best way is one certain way. And I secretly I enjoy openly defying her from time to time and finding some random road I found on a the old fashioned paper maps (weh?) and seeing just how pissed off she gets. Take that funny talking technology lady.

I need to get back to human contact. Clearly I'm losing my mind.

Portland, Maine (First time in a real bed in over 10 days!)

2010-09-15T18:50:00.001-05:00

On the way down to Portland from Acadia, I stopped at Booth Bay Port to grab a snack and see what the town was about - very similar to all the other port towns. We stopped here at the lobster wharf where lobstermen unload their finds and its served up compelely fresh. You can order Lobster here and they will ship it anywhere right off the boat. I grabbed some seafood chowder and O and i sat on the deck and watched the lobstermen.

The Lobster Wharf

My friend Danny at work said I was going to meet a lobsterman and never come home. I figured this was my one chance ; ) I always pictured lobstermen to be big burly men with beards and raincoats (some image from a movie, I'm sure). But the only ones I saw looked barely old enough to drink a beer. Interesting. I bet lobstermen would have some good stories. But I met no lobsterman. Sorry Danny... looks like its not in my cards this trip : ) I did; however, really enjoy my chowder! It was very fresh.

We got to Portland around 5:30 ish and checked into our Motel 6. I gotta say - these Motel 6's are really interesting. My room appears to be decorated in the style of 1985 and the TV is bolted to the plywood "desk/dresser". Quite the fancy livin it is. Guess I've gotten used to nicer hotels for work. But hey - they allow dogs for no extra charge! and my rate was under $50. So I should be very happy with this Back to the Future themeland I am sleeping in. I did bring my own blanket and pillow, though. I don't know how many times this coverlet has been washed since the 80s. Bleh. Anyway - after settling in and catching up on my bloggin - I drove down to the Old Port area downtown to see what it was all about. I think after being in Bar Harbor-Portland isn't quite as cool as I had hoped. Stores were mostly closed and bars and restaurants kinda spread out. I think it was just being back in a larger city that was hard for me. Being in these nice little small towns has really spoiled me. This place didn't have the same friendly feel that the other towns had. That being said - size wize - it was pretty cool compared to Knoxville. They have all kinds of cool restaurants. I even saw an African grocery store. Thats pretty cool. Seems to have a lot of variety. We ended up eating at an Irish Pub and heading back to the hotel. Not a crazy night for the worn out travelers. Things are definitely winding down on this trip!

In the morning we got up late and went back downtown to see what the place had to offer in the daylight. It was a much different scene, for sho. It took me a bit to figure out the parking situation. I actually pulled into a parking garage that charged $25 PER DAY to park. PER DAY. I hit the reverse rather quickly and pulled out of that joint. I looked back to see if I was just seeing stuff - but no. Fortunately the street spots charge by the quarter and we eventually found one of those. We hit a few dog-friendly shops and ate at Flatbread where we ate a really, really good gluten-free pizza. I had to pay an extra $4.50 to have a gluten free crust. kinda crazy - but it was definitely worth it. For those who don't know - GF pizza typically tastes like cornchip tissue paper or carpet. Or like you are eating a pizza stone. But this crust was actually almost like real pizza crust! It was great!! I also drank a warm lemonade with a bit of maple syrup added for flavor. I'm not a huge lemonade fan, but it was pretty freakin good.

After the pizza I decided I had had enough of the city and found the nearest public beach. It was very windy and chilly (high was supposed to be around 64, but it felt much chillier than that on the beach). We found a nice spot on a nearly empty beach (with just one crazy sunbathing lady and the occasional dog walkers) and i sat down to finish the book I've been reading (Little Bee - if you haven't read it - its very good-very deep). It was a lazy, relaxing afternoon. Very good to be near the ocean!

Oreo was pretty excited because it was a leash-free beach... She was such an awesome dog - she just layed with me on the towel the whole time. She occasionally went and met the dogs that passed by. I think she enjoyed herself : )

After the tide came in and the chill got to me (and I finished my book), I got bored and didn't know what else to do, so I decided to go explore some local thrift stores. I figured I could get cool Maine stuff at rock bottom prices. Plus its just fun to see what kinda stuff you can find in these places...like the t-shirt that said "Fresno State Cow Tipping Team" or "Screw Vintage...this shirt is from the future". I actually did find some super cool tees that i did buy. I also got a pair of shorts for a dollar, a Maine sweathirt for $5 and some other crap I didn't need. But atleast it was super cheap crap I don't need... I picked up some good thai food after this and went back to the hotel to organize all the crap i already had. When I get home I'm having a yard sale : )

Acadia, Day 3 (Branding Myself to Remind me of its Awesomeness)

2010-09-14T21:42:00.005-05:00

Last full day in Acadia! I decided that i would explore the other side of the island and keep my expenses to a minimum (since I've blown my budget in this place!). I drove over toward the Southwest Harbor side of Mount Dessert island and decided to hike around the Long Island area. There were tons of trails winding around the lake so we started there first.

We headed up to Beech Mountain via the west trail. It was another rocky climb to the top, but great exercise and once again Oreo showed her Bad-Assness... We took a bajillion pics at the top and half climbed the fire tower (top closed off) then cruised back down via the south trail. It was super cool! It wasn't as steep at the west side and it had tons and tons of stone cut steps leading to the bottom. I took lots of pictures of the traill cause it just seemed so cool! Along the way I ran into some Park Service guys who were doing some trail maintenance and asked them about the steps - they were built over 70-80 years ago when much of the park was built (I forgot to ask if it was CCC labor like some of the other trails or if it was Rockefeller), but they said they had done very little maintainance other than drainage work since then. cool. Again, they just don't build things like they used to.

We stopped by Bass Harbor lighthouse-the only lighthouse on Mount Dessert island...

Took this pic on the side of the road - thought it was pretty. Everything is pretty here!

We stopped at this place called the Echo lake Ledges. I imagine that people swim here when its not 40 degrees outside! We sat along the edge of the lake and I played with my camera some more as we relaxed.

Proof of my bushy eyebrows:

Oreo chillin on a rock (finally sans-leash!):

We headed back to camp early. I decided to hang in camp instead of spending more money so we stopped at the bath house and I had an amazing $4 shower, bought some firewood and headed back to blackwoods. I made one of my freeze-dried dinners - Seafood Chowder. My favorite! Its amazing how good those freeze-dried camping dinners can be! Just add boiling water, wait 10 minutes and BAM! A good hot meal. Perfect for backpacking and camping when you don't want to lug a bunch of food stuff around. Here is O chillin at camp:

I ate my last 3 marshmallows (yes, I've consumed the WHOLE BAG). The perfect marshmallow:

What happens when an extremely clumsy girl walks around in the dark and trips over the firepit and lands on the hot marshmallow poker that she just cleaned by sticking it in the hot coals. If you can't see - there are some small white streaks on my ring and pinky finger where I branded myself. It hurt like dammit....

Never fear, i think. I'm trained in wilderness First Aid... I can remedy this. I run to the car and grab my wilderness first aid pack and find out what to do for a 1st degree burn. First thing- do not put ice directly on burn. oops. already messed that up. 2nd, apply cold compress and aloe. Don't have either. crap. so much for the wilderness pack. I did have neosporine and i coated myself up and wrapped up my fingers, making sure i kept them above my heart. They throbbed quite a bit, but were okay by morning. Speaking of which - a HUGE storm rained down for hours first thing in the morning. Had to pack up all my gear soaking wet. Its now hanging in the bathroom of my Motel 6 hotel room :)

Acadia, Day 2

2010-09-14T20:44:00.006-05:00

On our 2nd day, we started out early - first stopping at the Bar Harbor grocery store for water and coffee - then hitting the part of the loop trail we missed the previous day. It was shaping up to be another pretty day - although a bit cloudier and much cooler. First stop was Sand Beach where i snapped a few pics. This is one of the few "dogs aren't allowed" places in Acadia, so Oreo chilled out in the car for a minute while I ran down to have a look.

After that we hit a few other cool places along the road, including Hunter's beach - a mecca for rock lovers....such as myself. There were so many different types of rocks on this beach - i collected a few for a geek-photo to share with everyone - cause i know everyone appreciates rocks as much as me ; )

Cool rocks:

After that we stopped at Jordan Lake for some hiking. There is a nice flat trail that goes all the way around the lake - but we also went up to what is called the bubble trails - we only were able to get up to the south bubble, there was a great big vertical climb i was afraid to take O on. Other than that, Oreo is an extremely big bad-ass rock climber. She just isn't such a great fan of that stupid leash thing i keep strapping on her. Sometimes she jumps up faster than me and kinda chokes herself. She doesn't like that. Probably as much as I dont like it when she dives down hill and pulls me along with her. I guess we are even in that way.. Along the trail i passed two guys who were leisurely strolling along - one taking photos and the other waiting for him. he struck up a conversation with me and I looked up and had one of those moments where I couldn't remember how to speak. He looked like an underwear model. or, not knowing what he looked like in underwear, a hair model. or a hat model. or something. He asked what Oreo's name was and said she was really pretty and I studdered something stupid and kept on walking. Why would someone so pretty be speaking to me? I smelled like a lobster and I'm pretty sure my eyebrows have started growing back together. They most assuredly had to be gay.

Oreo looking down from the South Bubble:

I played with my camera alot in Acadia. It is one of the most photogenic places I have ever been. I took hundreds of pictures!

This is looking over at the Bubble from the lake trail:

After the approximate 4 mile hike, we stopped at Jordan Lake Restaurant for a snack on their outdoor lawn with a view of our bubble. i decided South Bubble sounded stupid - so I renamed it Erin and Oreo's bubble. Cause we kicked its ass. Oreo was even allowed in the gift shop at the Jordan house. Pretty cool.

After driving around the rest of the loop road - we headed back to camp to change clothes and take a nap before the big Margaret Todd adventure. I was starting to feel a bit exhausted. I feel like i've been going non-stop for over a week and I am starting to feel a little worn out! But will not stop.
We boarded the Margaret Todd at 5pm and met lots of really nice people. Oreo befriended a really nice lady from Texas who was sitting beside us when we set sail. She was one of those ladies who you know is probably an awesome grandma. She was adorable and we talked for a bit about our travels. She said her and her husband's last boat trip was in Africa in a dugout canoe. How cool is this grandma?

Some really cool Harley motorcycle peeps befriended us next. They were those really rich harley people with really expensive Harley clothes and houses all across the country. They just loved Oreo and offered to take our picture...

One of the ladies was so cool, she even gave Oreo lots of stinky cheese (I think it was brie or maybe goat cheese, I'm not sure--but O loved it), even after oreo kinda snapped at her. She just kept feeding her cheese and talking to us. Again, I have never met such nice people. I think Oreo is a magnet for cool people, even when she is not exactly being cool herself. Everyone just thinks she is so cute!

After docking back at Bar Harbor - Oreo and i headed to the Parkside restaurant and had dinner before heading back to camp and crashing...again. Another busy day. So much fun : )

Oreo admiring the sunset:

Maine - Acadia National Park, Part I

2010-09-14T17:09:00.005-05:00

Shortly after i entered the state of Maine I knew I was in love... Why? Because one of the first stops was at a small bakery along the road in Mexico, Maine, where they made all Gluten free goodies! I had to stop! I purchased 2 freshly made muffins - one strawberry and the other apple cinnamon. I ate the strawberry one in about .01 seconds - it was amazing. made with fresh strawberries. I saved the other for breakfast the next day. The couple who own the bakery were very friendly and we talked briefly about gluten free travelling and how we always just end up eating salads when in doubt. They were great!

So, back to Maine...where to begin.. well, I don't know if I mentioned this in my earlier posts, but one of the many reasons why I really enjoyed New Hampshire was because the entire state seemed to smell like a Christmas tree. The good kinda Christmas tree, not the cheap kind. The one that makes you want to drink cocoa and wait for santa kind. So when I got to Maine, specifically when I got to Acadia, I found a little piece of awesome when I got to the shoreline and smelled the lovely smell of the ocean mixed with the happy smell of Christmas trees. It was amazing. for a long time I just sat and enjoyed the gorgeous view (the skies were so blue on this first day), relaxing and soaking in the amazing smells around me. After the few grey days i had in New Hampshire, I really enjoyed the sunshine, even if it was a bit chilly!

I walked along the beach trail for a bit and admired the many views and then hopped back in the car and went around the loop road for some more views before driving up Cadillac Mountain. There are about 6 different trails I could have climbed to make it to this point, but I totally cheated and drove instead (not to make same mistake as Natasha... ; ). After this we drove to Bar Harbor and walked around a bit. There were SO MANY dog friendly stores in this town! i'm going to blame the reason i spent so much money in this town on the fact that I was so greatful these stores allowed me to bring my pooch inside, therefore i felt i needed to be a patron of their wares. Yea. thats it...

After spending a million dollars on a bunch of useless crap (lots of stickers...), i walked along the wharf and found Steumans - which i had found in my Dog-friendly travel book and we got a nice picnic table by the water. As I waited on my food, I caught up on my post card writing for my co-workers and I fed Oreo yummy doggy biscuits (although she had had about a million of them in the stores where everyone offered her treats and hugs -- and she only gave hugs after they gave treats -- my dog is really a whore).

I ordered my very first lobster. I have, in all my 35 years on this planet, NEVER eaten lobster, not even in parts. So I ordered my first one - a whole one...I felt comforted by the fact that my menu included lengthy instructions and my waiter was very friendly and said he'd help me out if I needed it, so I felt relatively safe. I was a bit nervous, thought.

When the lobster came I got so so excited i spilled my butter bowl everywhere. My waiter graciously told me i had committed a my first party foul... but kindly brought me another. He gave me some brief instructions and I went to work. I am proud tos ay that i ate the whole guy - except the green "brain goo" or intestinal poo, whatever it is they refer to as a "delicacy". Not for me, thanks. bleh. In the process of eating the little guy, I also broke my little lobster meat picking fork. I hid it in the midst of my lobster remains so it could be buried along with the corpse, so as not to have the waiter put me down for my 2nd party foul...

I felt full and satisfied with my first day in Maine. After this we headed back to camp and immediately crashed out. Stomach full of the little lobster.

Oh, and there are a few cool things about this place... Thought this pic was pretty cool:

New Hampshire, Part II (Land of Waterfalls)

2010-09-11T07:37:00.004-05:00

My second day in New Hampshire can best be summed up in photos. the morning started out being quite beautiful and I was thinking it might not be grey... After stopping at a cute coffee shop in North Conway, I headed down the Kangamancus highway. I wanted to do the whole loop in one day so I settled for a series of small hikes seeking out waterfalls and other points of interest. No super big hikes, yet, but still getting alot of walking in. Most of these places are just off the road or within a mile of the road. Pretty nice stops:

I wanted to dive into these beautiful green pools of water, which would really have sucked since it was about 50 degrees. But they were so pretty and i was mesmerized by the colors and the granite rocks below (I'll spare you my photos of small random chunks of granite and basalt lines and geological nerdy stuff I spent far too much time staring at, as well...

Ok, one geeky point of reference - the photo below you can see the basalt dike running through the granite - that somehow resulted in this geological feature (do not understand the science, but was none-the-less fascinated by the basalt dike)...

The last of the beautiful blue skies for the day -

My feet. Just for fun...

Below is the Basin area. We were not allowed to go to the Flume area - which is the big Varsity type "flume" falls because dogs weren't allowed. Wasn't going to pay to see something cool unless O could come, too. So the rangers directed us to the Basin area - which is the JV flume falls. They were still pretty. We hiked up a ways and caught a few other cascades and waterfalls....

I saw some other falls, but am really just tired of sitting in this coffee shop waiting for the photos to upload. Mostly because I am really anxious to get to Maine. So I just added a few more. This next waterfall was randomly up an old road that now serves as a bike path (i think - although I didn't pull my bike out and ride it -- was too lazy and it was wet and drizzly)...

This cascady thing was right beside the road - It was a cheater falls. no walking involved. There were a few of these. This place is full of waterfalls!!!

After all the driving we headed back to north Conway where I spent too much money. I talked to some cool shop peeps and heard all about their mud games (annual footbal game played in a mud soaked field) that I will be missing on saturday(today) and I found a small little Crepe place that had gluten free crepes (the lady was super nice and we talked about gluten free diets for a while). She also had a patio that was dog friendly so O and I had some dinner while watching the sunset. Oreo had a doggy Whoopie Pie. These Whoopie pies are apparently big here. I have seen them inquite a few places but have yet to find a gluten free one. Oreo enjoyed hers immensely. The nice lady also brought her some water.

This is the owner of the place - making me my special gluten free crepe. It was absolutely delicious, too. I actually squeezed out the last of the chicken and broccoli stuff and just ate the crepe. It tasted bready and its not often I get to eat these types of things. It was a great carb loaded dinner :) I headed back to camp and crashed.

My crepe, wine and sunset:

Now I'm heading to Maine!!! : )

New Hampshire, Part I (Creepy Kid Parks and Shiny Objects)

2010-09-10T08:43:00.007-05:00

New Hampshire is also a very beautiful place. The White Mountains are truly impressive (far more so than the Green Mountains). All of these tourist towns around here remind me of really small pigeon forges. Within my first 20 miles of NH I passed a Santa Land fun park. There are several of these creepy little children's Parks around the White Mountains. Not sure what thats all about, will have to ask my friend Matt when I get back - he is from NH.

I found my campsite at Dolly Copp Campground. Not too bad, but no island to myself... I set up camp and went exploring. First order of business - Mt. Washington. I wanted to drive my car up to the top (this is apparently some sort of feat for they have stickers you can put on your car as if to brag about it). But it was closed due to the weirdo weather (half rainy, dark and cloudy/half blue sky sunny and rainbows). probably not a good time to be at a high peak... So i settled for finding some waterfalls.

I stopped at a ranger station and bought a pass and the guy at the desk gave me some directions for a few of the trails. Again, I need to remind myself to stop listening to college boys when they say - oh its just a ...... he said i could take this trail and meet up with the other one so I didn't even have to move my car. It was "just a mile". okay. lets go. Trailhead says 1/2 mile to the pond and apparently it was another 1/2 mile to the falls, but there was no indication on the sign that this was to be the case..

Trail turned out to be super rocky and gnarly (especially when towing a dog on a string) -- it was more like a climb and all the rocks were wet from the rain so i wasn't exactly having fun. I comforted myself by saying we would just walk back along the highway to the car - thereby alleviating my having to repeat this less than enjoyable trail... I ran into another hiker going in the other direction - he had hiked up to the summit (which was beyond the magical waterfall). I asked if a waterfall were ahead and he said he didn't see one - but there was a trail that went out to the highway. okay. thats probably it. We discussed the gnarliness of the trail and he said he was almost tempted himself to take the highway back - but thought 1 more mile wouldn't be too bad. he was obviously one of those wirey dudes who hikes 15 miles a day -- but he was really nice. I got excited about the possiblity of being at the end until i got to the river and realized the trail CROSSED the river. Not creek, not stream, not gently flowing brook - a RIVER - one you would paddle. I tried to find a crossing place that was alittle more "calm" after having a little bit of a fit over the fact that dude failed to mention this part, I took off my shoes, folded up my pants and stepped down into the water - probably would have made it, too, but Oreo said "Ef a bunch of that" and took off away from the river. I tried to forge my way down the side of the river to find it, but fell twice in a small creek, banged up my shins and my elbows, cried like a 5 year old girl, pitched another fit and started huffing back toward the car via the trail from hell. I said screw it to the leash. if some ranger wanted to give me ahard time at this point - I dare him.

I was just thinking of how I was going to approach the youngin who led me down this path when BAM. Shiny object...I found mica coming out of the rocks along the trail. Huge chunks of it shining - muscovite. I am that much of a dork. I sat down and admired the rocks with the minerals eroding out - there was quartz, too. I took a few pictures and completely forgot about my banged up body, the fact that my clothes were soaked and it was getting colder. Nevermind the idiot boy back at the ranger station - I found mica. Thats it - case is closed - I am the worlds biggest nerd.

After this I had to go to the stupid falls - by car, that is, just out of pure principle. Turns out they were just below where we were supposed to cross the river. I'm kinda glad O refused to cross, if she had gotten swept up in the current - she would have gone right over them... So I am glad she put her tiny little nasty dirty foot down and refused to go in that river (she got a little muddy on the hike and is no longer white). But the falls were quite impressive. I was much happier traversing down the 475 hand cut stone steps the CCC had built to access the thing.

The actual falls were quite beautiful...

After this i headed to North Conway for some dinner and a much needed glass of wine (my treat for my heinous hike) . No sense in going back to camp when its rainy and cold.
So as i am typing this, I'm sitting in a nice Thai restaurant- sipping a glass of Merlot and listening to a douche bag try to impress some girl at the table next to me. I think they are on a first date - or early date. The kind where you ask lots of questions about your beliefs, philosophy, etc., feeling the other person out. Its these sorts of experiences that i dread as a single person. I guess I should secretly be wishing them well - but instead I'm wishing the guy would shut up because it really does sound like a douche. He just keeps going on and on about himself and barely lets her get a word in edgewise. Run girl run!

Another waterfall i saw:

Will continue my 2nd part of New Hampshire later. I'm out.

Vermont

2010-09-10T08:17:00.004-05:00

I cruised around the eastern part of the Adirondacks in the morning and grabbed lunch at a lake side restaurant in Lake George that actually had GF stuff on their menu. They also let me have Oreo on the patio. I had some delicious hot wings and relaxed by the lake before taking off to Vermont. Vermont is similar to NY in that its surrounded by beautiful mountains with amazing farms everywhere you look. I found my campsite--a small one maintained by the Corps of Engineers. The couple in the registration office were SO NICE! They let me upgrade to a lean-to (on account of my tent issues) and didn't even charge me! Then they loaded up some extra firewood for me. I just love the people up here - everyone is so nice!

I found a nearby hardware store where I bought some seam sealer (the one in my tent had solidified as it had been hanging around for over 10 years, some kinda spray to make anything waterproof, and a tarp in case the previous 2 were crack-pipe dream and waste of $8. Interestly enought the guy at the hardware store and I chatted for a bit and he went on and on about how warm it was going to be the next day (which is today - which its about 60, grey, raining, and CHLLY). We talked about the Dragon (129) - he is a motorcyclist and was down there this summer riding it. Interesting how these things come up. But anyhow - I stopped and picked up some meat and headed back to camp. I made Kabobs! Since I'm kinda a nardo - I managed to burn all the tips of my fingers trying to cook these things on the fire. But it was worth it, who really needs feeling in their fingertips anyway... I slept like a baby in my warm dry lean-to!

I drove up Hwy 100 through the middle of Vermont and stopped at a few places along the way (including cute coffee shop with Wi-Fi I wrote about earlier). I just have one question for today. What is it about gift shops, moccasins, and fudge?? Why do these things ALWAYS seem to come together? And how did this phenomenon become so pervasive (I think we saw it out west last summer). I'm curious. gonna have to research the history of fudge & moccasins when I get home. And I always thought it was a Pigeon Forge/Gatlinburg thing...

Makes me want some leather footies and fudge, eh? Here are some other interesting stops along the way:

Other than that Vermont was very uneventful. It was beautiful, though - I saw several towns and villages i would love to live in some day. Its the kind of place where I could buy a cool old house and run a cute little shop out of the barn in the back and retire happy. I will just have to put it on my list of possibilities.

The Adirondacks (a.k.a. NO Bertha Portage)

2010-09-09T10:13:00.004-05:00

I didn't like them at first because they seemed so ridiculously overdeveloped and until i got to my campground - i was beginning to be disapointed. It was lake country with lots of motorboats and marinas and I felt like I'd somehow ended up back in TVA territory. But then i got past all that crap and scored the BEST campsite (atleast for a state park) EVER. I had the spot at the head of an island where 2 rivers meet. no one else was in the surrounding campsites so we had the place to ourselves. The first day I was so tired from all the driving and so in love with my campsite - I decided to chill out at camp. and it was glorious. I built a fire and finished my book and relaxed to the sound of the rivers around me. I have really improved my fire making skills on this trip and have perfected the perfectly roasted marshmallow. Thats right, i said perfect twice...they are that good.

The next day I drove 2 1/2 hours to the Moose River Outpost where I rented a recreational kayak-- that I shall from here forth refer to as Big Bertha -- and paddled down the Moose River with Ms O. Big Bertha got her name because she was as long as my canoe back home and as heavy as my car. After we were dropped off at the put-in, we paddled past all the others dropped off with us and had the river to ourselves - which was good, since I talked to myself the whole time about how much fun it was to maneuver Big Bertha around the hairpin turns of the tiny snake-like river that wound through the grasslands and woods. Then we had to portage her. For those who don't know what that means? its when you have to get out and tow your boat because the water is to treacherous. Treacherous was a stretch for the rapids we had to pass, but I could not IMAGINE boating them with Big Bertha. We would have surely died.
So the portage....because of Bertha's size and my obvious weakness, the guy at the outpost gave me a set of wheels to make the 1/4 portage easier with the barge. He made it seem so easy (p.s. never listen to the 100 pound college boy when he says its no big deal). It was a big deal. coudn't seem to keep big bertha on the wheels as we traversed the narrow path that apparently required the 4-wheel drive version of the paddle wheels, not the ones I was given. I pitched a short fit and finally figured out how to get her back to the water and we were off again. It was much smoother after that. I rewarded myself witha cool t-shirt and some stickers. The guy at the outpost was super nice and actually invited me out after work to hang out in town, but he didn't get off until after 8 and my campsite was over 2 hours away so i declined. I don't know if this place is just full of nice people - or if I just attract more friends being alone with a cute dog. Either way - I haven't felt alone at all. But do find that i willl talk to just about anyone. But this is good for a girl who used to be so shy.

This is me and O sitting in an Adirondack chair. In the Adirondacks. Of course we had to do that. Duh.

The Catskills (a.k.a. NO FLACK)

2010-09-09T09:53:00.005-05:00

Well. I'm sitting in a McDonalds in some town on the eastern side of the Adirondacks (just an hour or so away from Vermont). Amazingingly enough by the time I find free Wi-fi its at a location where their server is down. So i am sittting here drinking a fruit smoothie (only thing i can stomach on their menu at the moment) and downloading my pics...writing up an adventure that I may or may not ever get to post...

So, here I go - The Catskills

Where to begin. I love them. They are beautiful and the people are amazingly nice. And after the first day when i drove around endlessly on the same roads looking for a way out (to find a town - to get a map) and believing I had trapped myself in a biodome...asking random hikers along the road if I was trapped in some sort of bubble (only half of them looked at me like i was crazy)--I finally got a good map and figured it out.

I will summarize my adventure - my campsite, while a good one along the river - was packed in tight with a strange family that seemed to know everyone at the campsite. They blared rockin oldies most of the time and there was a man (who i named Al) who kept yelling at people. But then there was the big guy (who I named Big Ole Billy) who cracked the worst joke to me the first morning - he said "they say its supposed to be a 3-dog night," I assume in reference to my 1 dog and lack of 2 others... I laughed and spoke to big billy for a bit.

I mostly drove around in the catskills. I drove and drove and drove and drove and found cute town after cute town. I met an awesome lady named Jill who owns her own pottery business out of a barn near her home on some mountain in a tiny town in the middle of the Catskills that I somehow managed to find in spite of the fact that they don't really believe in signs here... Jill invited me to a benefit event for the movement against the mining for Frack - some kinda gas that they leach out of shale. Sounds ridiculous. Mark Ruffalo and Debra Winger were going to be there. I thought Jill was awesome and really wanted to get a chance to see debra winger in person, but ended up not going because I was so exhausted that next day from all the driving i went back to camp and crashed. good thing - cause turns out Big Ole Billy was worried about me when i didn't get back to camp until dark - so it was really nice to know that big ole billy was looking out for me. Big Ole Billy said he was gonna send the rangers after me. Not sure where they would have gone to look, but again, it was super nice to know he was looking out for me (I know my momma would be happy to hear that, too).

I found a super cute town where I bought an old book on yellowstone and ate some yummy mussels & calamari and drank a irish hard cider (with Oreo chillin beside me on the patio) and enjoyed myself. all of this is out of order. I'm trying to remember the details after a few days.... Oh, I also met a super nice mennonite family that lives on a commune in the Platte Clove of the Catskills. They talked to me for a long time and I'm fairly sure they would have invited me back for Sunday dinner, had I not been starving on the trail and in desperate need of a snickers. They actually even offered me food on the trail when I told them i was heading back to get some. This place is so full of nice poeple! Oh, and I was searching for the bottom of a super nice waterfall and met some mountain bikers who directed me down the side of a mountain where Oreo and I went rockclimbing. Did i mention my dog is a bad-ass? all that quarry climbing back at ijams has paid off! So much to tell, so many fun adventures...

Some Pics:

Knoxville to Harrisburg, PA

2010-09-09T09:42:00.004-05:00

I'm already at the end of my 2nd day and I can't believe it! Last night I camped at Beaver Brook Campground in Mount Rogers Recreation Area. It was a nice campground - but somehow I managed to be the only tent camper. I was a little nervous for my first solo camping trip to be in an area where I was all alone - just me and the woods! It was getting late and i wanted to get my tent up before dark - and within a few minutes there was this little old man walking toward my car. Being wary on my first trip alone I pretened to be busy on the other side of the car- but it was clear he was coming to my site. I was looking for my pepper spray and sizing up the perp when i realized - oh yea, he's the campground host! I felt a little paranoid after that.. he was super sweet - he lived there with his little wife. I told him I was alone and he said "nobody will bother you -- and if they do -- you come get me. I was thinking....whats this 90 lbs 80 year old man gonna do?

But it seemed pretty safe here and so I set up camp and made my first camp dinner - beanie weenies! I fed Oreo, popped open a cold cider and settle down in my camp chair (I mean Debbi's camp chair---Debs you might find this chair familiar...). he said I could let Oreo run around, too, so long as I kept her under control. sweet deal. thank you cute little old man : ) you made the first night of my adventure even more special with your kindness -- and finding out you weren't going to try to kill me...

I didn't sleep much but I felt good in the morning and after making some coffee, eating breakfast, and drying out the gear a little - I hit the road! I realized I had made a gross error and overestimated my drive time to PA. what i thought was going to be over 8 hours was really only 5. So...I checked the map and realized Hwy 11 (Lee Highway - same one in Knoxville) goes all the way up to Harrisburg! So I took this route 90% of the way! It was so cool! I saw SO MANY cool old houses and farmsteads, civil war sites, parks, awesome little towns, a boy getting a whippin', an Ugg boot that had been tossed into the middle of the road, a big giant bald man with one leg drinking coffee on the porch of a cool coffee shop, my first Amish wagon, and NO WALMARTS!! Definitely a better tour of Virginia and PA then Interstate 81! And i still got to Carlsile by 6pm. My hotel has no wi-fi : ( And its really not the greatest hotel in the world, but for $45 and pets stay for free?? Its perfect! There is a field behind the hotel I could let oreo free to run wild.

I drove around Harrisburg for an hour looking for a Thai restaurant. I got lost in downtown Harrisburg - incidently this is not a very dog friendly town...no dog friendly restaurants. So when i decided to turn around, i found that I had already passed a thai restaurant...so i picked up some pad thai to go and headed back to the Motel 6.

Been in the mountains...

2010-09-09T09:39:00.001-05:00

Okay - if there is anyone out there looking for a post - I have finally crawled out of the woods and found some free wi-fi. And, while searching for days and finding not even a McDonalds that works-I have found an adorable coffee shop/bookstore in the middle of Vermont that I love so much I may not leave! While I've not been able to post - I've written about my trip thus far and have decided to just dump all my posts on here at once! Who knows when I will get Wi-Fi again. Its raining outside and its a great day to sip some chai tea and chill. Here is where I have been so far....

Its Finally Here!!!

2010-09-02T04:44:00.004-05:00

After much anticipation, the day is finally here - where I shall go to the mountains and forget about all the crappiness going on here :) I have packed up half my stuff in the car and have to actually go into work and be there for 8 hours or so and pretend, I mean, REALLY..work! After work I am picking up O, throwing the food in the cooler, grabbing some ice and heading to Virginia! First stop - Mount Rogers Recreation Area! Camping on some creek somewhere not far off the interstate. Just 2 days from now i will be in the Catskills!! Cheers!

I'll try to make these entries a little more entertaining from here on out. Its 5:30 am and I've had no coffee, can't sleep, and thinking about maybe cleaning my extremely dirtyhouse before going into the office. Or giving Oreo a bath....now thats not a bad idea....

Oreo is clean now... and the house. Would upload pictures but my dinosaur computer seems to not be recogizing the card reader. See you in a few days!

Packing and Waiting

2010-08-30T18:55:00.004-05:00

I have 3 days left - and I have pretty much packed everything. Now all I have to do is sit around and wait.... wait for it... oh yeah, and pretend to work. I think I have everything planned out. I bought about a million dollars worth of crap for the trip and have a case full of candy, chocolate and marshmallows (your basic needs, of course). All I need now is to buy some final stuff at the grocery store and shove it all into my car!!! So. Here I am. Waiting...

My New England Adventure

2010-08-22T16:58:00.002-05:00

So its been about 400 years since I last posted anything on my blog. But since I'm going to be going on a long (for me) road trip and I bought a teeny tiny computer to bring along with me - I thought I could use this forum to post some pics and let family and friends know I'm still alive (going by myself).

Me and Oreo (my dog) are going to take a 2 week (17 days) vacation up north and see as much as we can see across atleast 5 states (we are going to stay in 5 states but drive through more). The trip doesn't start for 11 more days - but I'm getting so excited I can barely stand it. I've worked up an itinerary and have already started to pack (dork). Here is the plan:

Day 1 Leave after work and drive up to VA near Wythesville.
Day 2 Wythesville to Harrisburg, PA (stay in a hotel)
Day 3 PA to the Catskills!! Camp for 2 nights!!
Day 5 Catskills to Adirondacks (camp) - hike and paddle with O
Day 7 Adirondacks to Vermont (camp) - Green Mountains
Day 8 Vermont to New Hampshire (camp 2 nights) in White Mountains
Day 10 NH to Acadia NP for 3 nights of camping (biking, hiking, boating)
Day 12 Acadia to Portland Maine (hotel 2 nights)
Day 14 Portland to Hagerstown, MD (hotel)
Day 15 MD to Blue Ridge Parkway (camp 2 nights along parkway)

Whoo hoo! I'm so excited!! More to come!!

the girl with too many animals...

2009-03-28T19:09:00.007-05:00

So I inherited some sort of a soft spot for four-legged friends and can't seem to stop myself from picking up animals off the side of the road (or those that accidently walk through my yard and look hungry and in need of loving). As such - I have never needed to go to the shelter to find a pet - they just find me. It has been a blessing (had lots of great pets) and perhaps a curse all at the same time. First Muffin (the awesome cat), Grain (the one we stole from a neighbor), Pooh (the ghetto kitty), and then Oreo (the mangy nasty rat turned fluffy enlarged papillon). All great friends. Pooh and Oreo are still with me and are the loves of my life. All has been in balance in the world of happy rockgirl animals.....

Then.....Halloween 08 comes along and then enters Big. Big was a pit-bull mix who appeared to be either playing real-life frogger or maybe just attempting suicide in the street on my way to work the morning of Halloween. I see him at the 4-way and feel bad that this dog has somehow gotten loose and seems to be lost. Then, for whatever reason -- perhaps fate -- he starts chasing down my car. It was as though he saw some sort of hidden sticker on the back of my car (the one that says "SUCKER FOR ANIMALS-FOLLOW ME." That is how Oreo hitched a ride, as well.

So I can't let a suicidal frogger dog just end up road kill after having made eye contact and the poor thing entering my sub-conscience. Stupid mind. I pick the poor fellow up and bring him home to my basement where I diligently make flyers and spread them around in hopes of his owners come rescue him and love him forever. I knew it wouldn't happen. The poor thing had a choker collar on and was very malnurished.

A month later I gave up and started posting ads for him on websites and at work - trying to find someone with a big heart to take this poor pup and love and care for him. My roommate, conveniently, is in vet school and got him fixed, chipped, up-to-date on all shots, etc. We brought him into the house and he became our foster friend. For the lack of creativity - we named him after his enormous and very muscular head -- Big. Short for Big head. If you have to ask at this point why I would name a dog big -- you obviously missed the previous pet names that should pretty much sum up the fact that I completely lack creativity when thinking up names. If I ever have children - I might name them Baby Slime or Super Melon. I think thats the reason why perhaps I should not have them.

Anywho-where am i going with this jabber? Big was a joy to house train. It was 3 months into this when we realized it was time to attempt a crate. It was too much for my stomach to come home to the site of this:

But all of this I have decided was a chance for me to learn patience. Tolerance. I've been reading about it for a long time and this presented an opportunity to practice. Meditation and deep breathing can get you to a point - but at some point you have to try it on in the real world.

And what better way then by having your house destroyed?

But all this aside. Our patience prevailed. We didn't give up on the little bugger. We continued to work with him.

So Big has been with us now for 5 months. He is potty trained, crate trained, and the sweetest, most lovable dog in the world. He gives hugs, cuddles in bed with you, and now when I come home I see this:

Its a sweet site.

More Proof of the Evil Nature of Spiders

2006-12-01T17:11:00.000-05:00

Check this photo out.... What is the tiny little barely visible black dot, you wonder? Well, let me tell you friend... this little black beastie is a black widow spider. Yes, a real one. Where was this phot taken? My back patio.
As you know, I have arachnaphobic tendancies bordering on the insane . This morning, when I was outside making sure my dog didn't fly away in the tornado-like winds we were experiencing at 5:30am, I noticed this little bastard trying to make a run for my back door. I guess he had been de-homed in the winds and he was making his way for the warmth and secure setting that is my house. I, of course, welcomed him with the bottom of my shoe that I scrambled to find in my un-used gym back next to the dining room table. How dare he? Isn't it winter? Aren't the little f**kers supposed to be dead? or in some underground fortress beginning their winter hibernation ceremonies with the devil himself?

Doggy Bling

2006-11-15T19:00:00.000-05:00

So here's one of life's greatest mysteries, in my opinion... Doggy clothes. I was at Target not too long ago and noticed they had quite an extensive collection of doggy clothing and accessories. For example, there is a little "Bling Dog Tee" in hot pink. AAhhhhh, and then there is the Leopard Print Doggy PJs. And just in case all those boy dogs are feeling left out (you know how sensitive boys can be...), there is doggy suit. There is everything from your average sweater, to pink shiny raincoats, to denim jackets (you know acid washed is coming back, right?), and lets not forget to get them their tiaras, tutus, and pearl neckaces... Swim trunks, fringe shit, Issac Mizrahi designer dresses, crocheted sweaters, smoking jackets, if you don't belive me - check it out for yourself!!

Have I died and woken up in doggy hell? Because thats exactly where my dog would feel like she was living if I bought her something so hideous. She gets pissed when I even suggest putting a bandana around her neck. So, okay, I remember once when I was a kid I put a doll dress on my cat and put her in the front yard to see what she would do. She rolled over and played dead. How could a person subject their animal to such complete and utter humiliation? I'm outraged!! Okay, so maybe occasionally you throw something fun on for a halloween party. I mean, hey, everyone is doing it so its cool. But damn doggy lingerie? And people actually think I need a hobby. Please, America, lets work together on not becoming so freakin frightening.

My New Addiction

2006-11-09T21:31:00.000-05:00

I have a new addiction. A new way to totally waste a day at work. The Onion. I've visited the site before when friends have pointed out various articles, but I've never really spent much time reading through some of the archives and browsing the merchandise. Its beautiful. It really speaks to me. Sarcastic wisdom at its finest. LOVE IT. Some of my favorite articles include "Area Woman Emotionally Invested in Jennifer Anniston's Well-being" and "Action Figures Set Cubicles Apart."

The former summarizes our society's ridiculous obsession with Hollywood. The latter is a fav because I feel like I am the subject of of this article. My coworker (next cube over) and I share a wall that is covered in tiny fuzzy chickens, mini rubber ducks, sticky frogs, a bendable Uncle Sam and frog, a Lucky Cat from Japan (via Epcot), a lucky ceramic frog from Hawaii, an arrowhead shaped like a buffalo, and a ceramic, bejeweled snowman. No shit. I'm not lying. I'd show a picture if it weren't for the fact that one might recognize my office and figure out my oohhh soo secret identify. Course, you see one sterile cubicle, you've seen them all.

In addition to my cubicle figurines, I have decorated the walls with postcards, photographs, posters, magazine cut-outs, bullshit training certificates, tiki voodoo-like totem heads with feather sprouts coming out of the top, a limestone core sample, some unprovenienced artifacts (which can be found in any archaeologist's office), a sugar flower that came off some gross store-bought cookie, and, of course, about 45 sticky notes holding thoughts that can't seem to stay in my brain. This is both an attempt to decorate our boring grey lives and a contest to see who can tacky it up the most before getting busted by facilities management. So far - no one has really said much. I even have a calendar of half naked native Hawaiian guys under my desk - taped to the inside lower wall. Its my little half-assed secret. My friend Peter has a similar calendar sporting some hotty Hawaiian ladies. This is just what a corporate office needs, more half naked people. I think I might suggest that at our next staff meeting.

So in the meantime, check out The Onion if you haven't already.

A Link to Me

2006-10-18T20:13:00.000-05:00

Someone found the link to my blog by surfing up "Stupid Vol Fans."

How rude.

Oh yeah, and I finally got some comments on my blog - and it was spam.

sigh...

For only One Thousand Dollars....

2006-10-17T20:26:00.000-05:00

Today me and one my co-workers were looking up topsoil for sale online and we found this website that had a little bit of everything for sale.

We were cruising through the pics of pets and came across this sphinx for sale for a thousand bucks (not the same as the photo to the left - but just as hideously ugly).

Why would someone pay $1000 for a wrinklied, raw, rat-like looking creature that looks like this? It reminds me of my dog when I first found her on the side of the road - all mangy, pink and full of scabs. I paid $700 to make her not look like that anymore...

It kinda makes me uncomfortable, like that feeling you get when looking at your friend's newborn baby - who isn't very cute, but you have to pretend it is. It makes me want to sew a tiny little fur coat so that it won't be embarrased in front of his animal friends. He actually looks like Mr. Furley from Three's Company. Wait, he's starting to grow on me.... Ew. Just goes to show you money really doesn't buy good taste.

People never cease to amaze me.

Its My Lucky Day...

2006-10-10T17:05:00.000-05:00

I just found a 5 leaf clover in my backyard when I was grilling. I think this means I'm going to have extra good luck or make lots and lots of money or something. Or perhaps that a leprechaun may jump out of my ass (ouch). Umm...I'll take the cash, thanks.

Look...Its real! I swear I didn't glue a tiny little leaf in the center.

Lucky in Love Sounds Good to Me

2006-10-01T20:31:00.000-05:00

So I am back from a weekend camping trip with some friends. I had a really great time (in spite of the fact that I have chiggers, I branded my neck with a marshmallow poker, and it poured down rain on us all last night=). We went for a 12 mile hike (or was it 15?) and ate lots and lots of food that is bad for you. I discovered the joys of grey meat and the drawbacks from eating marshmallows for every meal (grasshoppers do add protein, but its still not advisable). Oh yeah, and I'm a total cheater at trivial pursuit. I also met a suicidal stick bug. Excellent fun. It’s good to spend time with friends.

When I came home tonight, I got some interesting information from my Daily AOL horoscope, too:

It might be easy for you to make more money these days, but this isn't about any sort of get-rich-quick scheme. It's just that people in power are going to be more inclined to favor you over others. Love is not full of surprises now. Rather, you get what you deserve and you can count on what you receive as being the real thing.

What an amazing horoscope! First, the whole lucky at work thing sounds great. Who doesn’t want to be make more money and be favored. But the best part of this horoscope is what it says about love. I have had a bad go at love lately. Most recently – I have had my heart broken. Not so much broken as crushed – the kind of hurt that leaves you feeling alone when you are in a room full of people. I fell for this guy who had become my friend– only to later come to terms with the fact that he never really liked me and that he was in love with someone else. I wasn't even mad – given the circumstances. All I could do is say goodbye and wish him the best because I want him to be happy even if it means that I have to walk away forever. If that’s not love, then I don’t know what is. Talk about tragic Lifetime television for women (bleh). Its easier when you can just punch them in the stomach, call them a son of a bitch and walk away with a smile. Love can really complicate things sometimes.

Back to the horoscope, though, cuz it sounds like my luck is going to change =) I especially like the part about how it says I deserve it. Perhaps Mr. Fantastic is right around the corner. Maybe its cute parking lot guy... That would be excellent… Or maybe horoscopes are full of crap. Either way, it never hurts to keep an open mind.

Hope everyone has a great week!

I'm turning into a Man....HELP!!

2006-09-27T17:22:00.000-05:00

I come home, crack open an ice cold beer, flop down on the couch with my pants unbuttoned, turn on the news, occasionally snore as I zone in and out of consciousness, yell into the kitchen "bitch where's my dinner!"

Okay, so maybe its not that bad. Its more of the pathetic bachelor man-type. I've previously mentioned that my refrigerator once stored only things like earthworms (for fishing, not eating, in case you were wondering), pickles and beer. Well, this type of thing is what I'm talking about. Taking current inventory of the fridge I have: block of old parmesan cheese, 4 jars of pickles, rotten milk, orange juice, empty jar of applesauce, tupperware container of what I believe to be baked beans from several months ago (ewh), and .... beer.

My carpet has 4 layers of dog fur. My laundry has stacked up for 3 weeks (had to do some wash this weekend in order to have adequate amounts of underwear for week). Piles of newspapers on the floor. Collection of shoes by the door (the variety and number of these certainly seperates me from my male counterparts, but its still getting out of control). Junk mail piled high on the dining room table. Pot of old broccoli, random wrappers and coffee cups on the counter. Hairball in the spare bedroom. Piles and piles of unread and boring books scattered across bedroom floor. Little piles of dead spider carcasses by the back door. Dog toys EVERYWHERE.

Okay so perhaps I exaggerate (or maybe not so much) - but I think its time for an intervention. I have the home of a 24 year old college fratboy graduate. Somebody please come shoot me. Or atleast go get that nasty hairball out of the spare bedroom. bleh.

I Have a Vacation Hangover

2006-09-17T11:25:00.000-05:00

You know how when you travel sometimes (especially when its in a different time zone) and you come back you feel like a zhombie, you wake in the middle of the night and don't know where you are, you sleep for 12 straight hours, you wake up feeling groggy, you're sitting in your pajamas drinking coffee while staring at your computer when you're supposed to be somewhere in 20 minutes?
Thats me today. I've also somehow managed to forget all the wonderful stories I was going to share with everyone. I'm hoping this memory lapse will go away with the application of some much needed caffeine and a little bit of time to settle back into the real world.
Until then...happy Sunday!

Dial #0 if You are Just Stupid

2006-08-26T12:38:00.000-05:00

So I was a little bored this morning and was playing with my cell phone because I had nothing better to do. I noticed, for the first time, a tiny little image just above the pound sign in the bottom right corner of the phone. It’s a little tiny lock. I think….cool….I can lock my phone. I’d been wondering about this (because I had let my niece play with my phone a few weeks ago and I was looking for a way to keep her from dialing 911…or an ex or something).

So I got so excited, I pressed the button – held it down – and locked up my cell phone. Sweet. It works. Know what else? It requires a pass code to unlock it. Ain’t security great? Wait. What? Pass code? I don’t have a pass code? I dial up every single pass code I’ve every used in my life – from my ATM code, my voicemail code, my social security number, my birth year, everything. Nothing. I find my owner’s manual (which is a miracle I still have) and find that the default code is 0000. Whheeeww. Crisis averted. I punch in the default and I get…..nothing. Still locked. Dammit.

I can fix this, I think. I can go online. I surf up the Verizon.com website and type in [what I think is] my user name and password and get nothing. I try again. Nothing. I’ve got 25 different user names and 10 passwords for 40 online accounts. None of them work. I’m getting ready to lock up my Verizon account. So I click the forget password? Link. It sends it to my email. Great. But wait, no email. Oh yeah, I use my work email. Now I have to go to work and get my damn password to log on to my account so I can try and find out why they let stupid people have cell phones. Dammit.

Okay. Think… What’s that weirdo think next to the computer that allows me to slowly connect to this damn internet….oh yeah….a real phone. An ancient artifact that’s become something like an 8-track in our technologically advanced society. They probably have one at the Smithsonian – right next to the hot-rollers and the Walkman. Fortunately for me, the non-technological mutant, I still have one. I not only have one but depend on it for my connections. For once having something old fashioned has saved me from complete embarrassment (which it would have been for me to drive down to the Verizon store and tell the cute guy behind the counter that I had somehow managed to lock myself out of my phone. So I look for a number. Need help, it asks? Just dial *89 on your cell phone. That helps. Dammit

So after 15 minutes of searching I find a 1800 number. When I call it, I'm given a series of choices…press 1 for billing, 2 for technical service, 3 for blueberries and other fruit and snacks, 4 for blah blah nano blah something pods, 5 for yadayada vcast something music players, blah blah....I press 2. It’s a technical problem. Then I'm connected to another list of choices. I don’t understand any of them. I don’t have any of these problems. Where is the default choice for “all other technical issues a.k.a. stupid people”. I randomly pick a number. I wait another 15 minutes for a kind woman who was gracious enough to tell me that, oh yeah, it’s just the last four numbers of my phone number. Sure. Yeah. Thanks. Dammit.

Moral to the story? #26 on my list ….Catch up with Technology before I lock myself out of society.

Gurrrlll, You Got Some Stinky-ass Feet

2006-08-23T17:19:00.000-05:00

I inherited many things from my father, including his work ethic of a mule, sneezes that echo for miles, giant eye balls, a fondness of home brew, and, apparently, his stinky-ass feet. Yesterday I made my annual visit to that doctor that all women must eventually see. Bleh. Its not that I dislike going to my doctor – but nobody likes to get naked, lay on a board for several hours draped in a paper dress and have someone take a bright light and metal poker to their nether regions. But we must all do it – it’s just plain good for ya.

So on this day, I make the mistake of wearing my favorite shoes – a pair of Sketchers that are like a cross between a mountain climber shoe and slipper. They are very comfortable. The only problem with these shoes is that, since I have to wear them without socks, they tend to make my feet smell horrid. And by horrid, I mean knock the wind out of you horrid. This is esp. true when I’ve worn them for a few days in a row without washing the insoles. I didn’t really think about it until I step into that little pre-game room where they take your vitals, blood, etc. The nurse instructs me to take off my shoes so that she can weigh me and I think….Oh Holy God…what have I done? I slowly slip them off and quickly jump on the scale, looking nervously at the lady. As she takes my weight (good news – I lost 5 pounds!!) and height, I start to catch a whiff of the scent. I’m absolutely horrified!! As soon as she is done, I put the bloody things back on and notice she’s rubbing her nose. I’ve nearly killed the nurse with the stench of my dad’s hand me down feet.

I’m completely panicked by the time I get to my actual room because I realize – my feet are going to be propped up RIGHT NEXT TO my doctor’s head. All you ladies out there know what I’m talking about. How ridiculous would it be for me to keep my shoes on – when the rest of me is buck naked wrapped up in a large, moo moo shaped paper towel? What to do, what to do…..I search the room for anything that can help and it occurs to me – the room has a sink! So, as quickly and neatly as possible – I lift my big, nasty feet up to the sterile counter and start washin. When I’m done – I’ve left a huge puddle all over the floor that has to be mopped up with about 30 paper towels. I had just finished cleaning up my mess when I hear the knock on the door. Safe. I take my place on the gyno-throne and get ready for party time. It wasn’t until a few minutes later that I realized I had thrown my paper towel mess into the garment-only bucket. Oh well, by the time they clean that thing out, I’ll have been long gone.

P.S. Those who know me may not question why I have troubles keeping a boyfriend – with conversations such as this. But hey – I’m woman enough to admit when my shit stinks…

Stupid people make me smile...

2006-08-22T17:00:00.000-05:00

I love photos like this.

I was having a craphole day and someone sent me this picture.

I don't know if its real or not - but its an example of how stupid people were put on this earth to make us laugh.

Hope everyone is having a great day =)

No More Visits to the Crack House Kids

2006-08-21T20:46:00.000-05:00

I have, just now, finally mowed my yard. This was a stupendous feat for me – given its current condition and my ginormous fear of the big dirty spiders that like to lurk in the tall grasses. My dad loaned me one of his spare mowers (he has a thing about collecting them). Its funny because this mower has some serious horsepower compared to my old Yardman and I nearly took out a bush and ran the thing off into the road a few times it was so powerful. My “self propelled” button on the old one barely got the thing in motion. My dad’s mower could quite possible pull a sled. So an hour and a half after I begin, I have the lawn short, the edges trimmed, and the big milkweed cacti removed. I have a giant, manly sized blister on the palm of my hand to remind me not to wait so long to take care of my yard again. My yard is, once again, halfway presentable. It no longer looks like the home of a crack ho.

I also sprayed down the black widow on the front porch. I was too afraid to step on it (I have this fear that it will eject a web onto the soul of my foot as I move towards it – swing around just before the stomp, and run up into my pant leg. I know it’s just sitting there plotting my murder as I stare it down – trying to figure out the best way to dispose of it. Luckily I found this bug spray that will squirt out a fairly good stream of pure poison from distances of up to 6 feet away. I can keep a safe distance and destroy the bastard in one fell swoop. As I sprayed him down, he ran up into a crack – but I sprayed the crack for a solid 10 minutes. I feel confident I’ll have a dead black widow carcass on my stoop in the morning. Dirty mother %&*@!!!….

Cool thing is – apparently one cure for a burned out, grassless yard is to just let it run wild for a few months. Lots of weeds and shit growing in there, but hell, its green, I’ll take it. Uncool thing – I discovered a wasp’s nest on my side garage door. Apparently it’s been there awhile cause it’s about the size of a downtown condo building. I have no idea how to dispose of these little nasties – other then pour gasoline on them and set em on fire. This might be a bad idea, though, me not having any fire protection coverage and all. I guess I’ll have to think of something else.

Goodnight kids!

Welcome to my Jungle said the Spider

2006-08-18T16:45:00.000-05:00

Picture a hot, sunny desert-like plain rich in red clay and asphalt with small, shoebox shaped houses tightly bound across the surface. In the midst of this setting - there is one shoebox that sits above all others. And by "above" I do not mean quality. The "grassy lawn" surrounding this shoebox is thick with small budding cedar trees, luscious crab grass, and unidentifiable milkweed-typed cacti growing in the shapes of small Christmas trees. In the midst of the "lawn" there are very large, brown, bastard spiders running wild and free amongst the luscious weeds and its nourishing canine shit. Black widow spiders have come in search of peace and quiet, june bugs, and empty cigarette butt-filled flower pots to drape their homes. It’s a harmonious little woodland to all the most hideous creatures of the world.

What the F you say? Its been a long week and I've just come home to the yard from hell. My lawnmower broke about 2 months ago and my once crap-hole, grassless yard has become a huge jungle of weeds. My neighbors drive by yelling obscenities and throw trash at me. I've become the crazy lady down the street, with my unkempt yard, a house full of dirty animals and minimal sitings of me outside the humble abode. They wonder…."what is that crazy lady doing in her house? Is it true that she's running a meth lab?"

About a month ago I hired an Elvis impersonator to mow it - but he charged too much money and gave me a small lecture on letting my grass get too out of control, so I've been hesitant to call him. Last week I was on vacation and when I got back I realized black widow spiders were living on my front porch and some crazy new weeds are sprouting up in the front yard. The aphids and beetles have completely eaten all the bushes and trees in the back yard. Its reached maximum trashiness. I'm certain my neighbors hate me. Where is my tall handsome man-servent when I need him?

Twenty Five things I must do before I die…

2006-08-16T19:19:00.000-05:00

I’ve been in a rut lately and haven’t been accomplishing much so I decided to set some goals for myself for things I want to do in the upcoming months. My list got carried away and became more of a lifetime goal project. This list is by no means laminated and can be altered at any time. In no particular order….These are the things that I would like to do before I die:

1. Learn to dance
2. Fly first class
3. Join a book club
4. Ride a Harley
5. Get a tiny tattoo (with meaning)
6. Publish something
7. Go Kayaking
8. Run a half marathon
9. Take a camping/road trip out west
10. Learn to cook like a professional
11. Spend a few days at a spa
12. Move to a new town
13. Learn different types of wine
14. Go to Tahiti
15. Buy a pair of Jimmy Choo shoes
16. Travel around Europe
17. Buy an old house and fix it up
18. Travel around South America
19. Buy a Cabin in the mountains
20. Fall in Love
21. Go to Australia
22. Move into a retirement village with Serrabee!!
23. Own a swimming pool
24. Get a puppy and name him Fuggle
25. Get UT Football Season Tickets

On the flipside - Fifteen Things I probably WON’T do before I die…

1. Visit Olduvai Gorge in Africa (where they found a lot of hominid fossils…)
2. Have children
3. Own an Hummer
4. Live in a downtown apt. in a big city
5. Star in a movie
6. Meet Ewan McGregor
7. Read all the books I own
8. Learn to Surf
9. Bungee jump or jump out of a plane
10. Win a pie eating contest
11. Sing well
12. Own my own horse
13. Have a hot pool boy (although maybe I shouldn't count this one out...)
14. Marry Andrew DanJumbo
15. Get UT Season Tickets

Brittany and the Big Burp of Society

2006-08-15T21:22:00.000-05:00

What the hell is wrong with our culture? I was sitting at my computer this reading CNN.com as I usually do while I drink coffee and pretend to be working in the mornings when I see in the top news stories that Brittany spears burps and talks stupid shit on a home video clip. This is on the breaking news clips. Everyone is going nuts about this video. People are in shock. NEWS BULLETIN: Brittany Spears is kinda dumb. I know some of you might think this news shocking. Leave the idiot woman alone, people! She has not become famous for her scholarly nature or her ladylike manners. She has become famous for being blonde, half naked with an acceptable singing voice and "daring" dance moves. And besides, who doesn't believe you can time travel in a Delorean fueled by a head of cabbage. Hello? Give her a break now. I think people just miss her half naked music videos. But relax big fans - I hear she is back in the studios recording.
I just can't believe that this made it as one of the top news stories on CNN. I fear I'm going to have to switch to the conservative based Fox News (as much as I hate it - they don't have quite as much crap on their site). The problem is that when I start reading the news - I get distracted by all the bs articles on celebrity woes - that I forget to read the actual news. I'm becoming one of them - the superstar obsessed American who wants to know all the intimate details of every big star out there. Our role models have become rich, outspoken, and fame obsessed dumb asses that surround the world of Hollywood. Why?Why?Why?

A Fuggle Full of Mullets with a Side of Mustache Please

2006-08-14T20:32:00.000-05:00

After another brief hiatus I am back to share more daily thoughts. I spent the last week on vacation in Arkansas (visiting family) and spent my weekends in Memphis hsnging out with my good friend Serrabee.

On my first weekend in Memphis, I ate at a really neat restaurant in Midtown called Dish where we ate tapas in a bed (so Sex in the City). It was great! Then we went and had drinks at an old beauty shop turned bar down the street. Midtown is a great place to hang out!

I spent the week taking care of my sister’s four sweet children while she went back to work. I was really nervous about this at first – feeling confident that I had lost all traces of any maternal gene that may have resided in my system. I was terrified that I was going to lose one of them somewhere, catch the house on fire, or something else horrible whereby I could never forgive myself. No fear, I turned into Nanny McPhee (only I hope slightly better looking) and whipped the little kiddos into shape. I didn’t even end up getting tired. Guess me and kids aren’t so bad together after all. Who knew?

The next weekend I was back in Midtown. Saturday night we went to a couple of really great bars in downtown Memphis (including Blue Fin and Automatic Slims Tonga Club), meeting cool new people and listening to local bands perform. It was good times….excellent people watching with reminiscing about the good ole days. We drank some beer made from “Fuggles and Kent Goldings English hops” and had some lively discussions about mullets and their intentions in society.

Afterwards, we headed back to Midtown and hit the local Karaoke bar where it was “frat daddy and his drunk bitchy ho night.” Why is it that whenever I go out – I always end up in a Karaoke bar? I’m going to do an anthropological study where I go to different cities and study the types of clientele that visit the local karaoke bars. I wonder if it differs by region. It’s these things that keep me up at night. Anyway, I was driving so I didn’t have much to drink and after a few rounds of some seriously bad renditions of Nancy Sinatra, Madonna, and Grease Lightening – I made a vow to myself to never, ever do drunk-karaoke again. I know I’ve done it …many…many times, but…no more.

I had a good time on my trip. I learned about things like Blumpkin, ironic wife beaters and “Old School Country Revival” bands and I will never think the same about mustaches again. It was great. Good friends. Good times.

So now I’m back with some good blog ideas and I will return soon with more totally random daily Rockgirl thoughts…

Has Pink Gone Too Far?

2006-06-22T20:25:00.000-05:00

I read this article the other day about women and fishing and I have to share it and discuss because I find it too interesting pass up. The Fishin'Chix have been promoting a line of pink fishing rods, pink fishing boots, etc. to encourage women to take on the sport. Its an interesting concept. Now before I get started, I want to say that I think it would be great for more women to participate in outdoor sports and I'd like to give a "shout out" to the whole idea.... but PINK fishing rods? Call me a little cynical and perhaps butch, but what the hell? As at outdoor sportswoman, I'm a little grossed out.

If you are a woman and you've ever needed outdoor gear (such as good waterproof hiking boots, rubber boots, gloves, etc.), you know its sometimes difficult to find these things in ladies sizes. In the last few years, there has been a movement towards adding clothing and shoe lines for women and I'm very excited about this, but I've also noticed that they make women's sized items - often - in "women's" colors. For example, the last time I went to buy new boots for work I found a selection of 4 boots for women compared to 37 for men. The brand that I wanted, the ones with the steel toe and real gore-tex had one style for women and the boot was, I swear God, Smurf blue. It was so hideous, I nearly wrote a letter to the boot company asking them what the hell they were thinking. I imagined walking into the office the next day (where I work with middle aged somewhat good ole boy men), sporting Smurfett boots. I ended up buying the men's version of the boot - in brown. The same is true for gloves. I went to Walmart the other night to buy some gloves for work and the women's leather gloves came in pink, blue, purple, and green. Then there was the set of coveralls that my lovely male office mates bought me a few years back. They came in women's sizes and they were even brown - but they had boob pleats. As if a woman who wears coveralls is going to feel inadequate about her breasts. Who is the marketing rep in these companies? Am I wrong?

Now it may be different with fishing. There are a lot of hot fishermen out there and I would probably not wear my dirty t-shirt and ripped jeans out on the river - just in case I need help from the cute fishermen next to me when I pull in a 18 pound catfish :). But how much respect would this guy have for me if it looks like I stole Barbie's tackle box?

I'm not saying that pink is bad. I own a lot of pink clothes (including dresses, frilly tops, and a fabulous pair of Steve Madden heels with pink bows) and I like to be girly and sexy. I guess I just think there is a time and a place for these things. I realize I'm overreacting to this article. I'm just trying to fight for equality in women's field gear! So to the companies out there... go ahead and make your purple rubber boots with lipstick pockets and cell phone holders or shiny blue shovels for "women gardening," but for God's sake, please take the damn pleats out of perfectly good coveralls!!

Thats all I'm sayin...

My Irrational Fear

2006-06-19T20:21:00.000-05:00

I have a severe case of Arachnophobia. And by severe case, I don't mean I'm one of those girls who just thinks spiders are gross. I mean that I am absolutely terrified of the species. I am sharing this irrational fear because I have, just now, killed a spider in my home that was as big as my fist. Okay, so it wasn't that big. But it was atleast the size of a half dollar. Perhaps maybe even as big as a poker chip. It was ginormas and it was in my house trying to kill me. It had made it as far as the entertainment center where, luckily, the dog intercepted it.

I was sitting at my computer when I heard a noise that sounded like dog claw on wood - which is not a pretty sound to someone who still owes money on their furniture. But I have to give the dog credit in this case, she was attempting to save my life. My heart started pumping, my chest started compressing. I made a shrieking sound. I grabbed the nearest shoe and pounded the ground until the bloody thing lay crumpled in a wad. I have no sympathy for them. I have my space, they have theirs. PETA will just have to get over it.

I have two explanations for my irrational fear. My first experience where I can remember being terrified by a spider was when I was about 12-13 years old. In these amazing woods in our neighborhood, my friends and I would pretend to be characters from Star Wars Return of the Jedi fighting the evil droids on the moon of Endor (the woods looked exactly like the Ewok village and I'm once again sharing some insight into my geeky childhood). I remember being high up in a tree when a spider the size of a donut ran across the tree trunk at my eye level. The bloody thing was so big I could hear its joints creak. So what did I do? The girly thing - I fell right out of the tree.

My second spider horror was when I was around the same age, maybe a little older. I was staying in a cabin in the mountains with my grandmother and aunts. We were sitting out on the screened porch playing cards late one night when I noticed a spider above our heads. It wasn't a great big spider - about average size - maybe as big as a cert. I'm keeping an eye on this thing as I didn't trust it being right above us. As I watched, I noticed it had a sack of babies attached. The spider is moving around this sack doing something and I started watching it obsessively. I start commenting to my aunts about the situation - not getting much response. Next thing I know, this sack opens and 8 billion baby spiders start falling out of the sky. Its raining f*%@@@g spiders on my head. I point this out to my aunts, in a not so calm tone, and they laugh it off like I'm the biggest wuse. Call me crazy, but who wants baby spiders in their hair? Eventually we all get up as the little nasties come down to the ground. Some of them died. I killed as many as I could while no one was watching, but many lived on to pass on their progeny and terrify more arachnophobes like myself.

The Package

2006-06-16T17:24:00.000-05:00

So I arrived at my desk this morning and found a box waiting in my chair. Expecting a huge stack of reports from one of my contractors - I picked it up to toss it to the side of my cubicle with all the other reports and noticed the box weighed no more then a half a pound. The outside of the box indicated that the package indeed came from the contractor. Curious as to what it could be, I quickly opened it up to find one used, slightly stretched, stained white t-shirt.

Turns out the post-office somehow managed to damage the package and lose the reports. As a consolation prize - someone apparently took off their dirty t-shirt and sent it to me to comfort my loss. I've never seen anything so completely random in my life. Somewhere someone is opening up a package, expecting to find their favorite nasty shirt and will, instead, receive a stack of somewhat confidential and intensely boring archaeological survey reports.